Monday 10 July 2006

Power Struggle

Sorry, about the photo, just this photo for the sake of posting...

Here's an e-mail I recieved regarding sylvia.

From: "Yiwei Lim"
To: terenceleeweiming@hotmail.com
Subject: Its U
Date: Sat, 08 Jul 2006 17:05:34

If u think that Sylvia is ever going to apologise just because u. want her to, forget it. I bet if she asked u to apologise u wouldn't. do that as well. So WAKE UP. I'm toking to u as a friend here, a friend who wishes to help u, in life no ones succeeds by forcing other people to do things your way. I've read your blog, im totally disappointed, the fact is, what I said was, "U are not a board." R u a board?! Or else y put words into my mouth? Is that being respectful?? If that is so u want me to give u respect because of that? What the hell r u?? A king? In life, it’s not every time that person will apologise to u abt what he/she said, u've got to understand that. Sylvia is one such person. Imagine I’m ur boss, I jus scolded u for not handing a layout on time, my company is the only one willing to hire u as a scrapbooker. Will u quit if I didn't sae sry???? If so then fine...

Note this: He points out incorrectly that i am totally wrong in the situation, and i have no right to ask for an aploygy even when the other party is wrong... Here's my reply letter.

Dear Friend,

In the first place, was I wrong? I was calling for a price for our room paint while writing notices for the board. I don't need her or anyone to apologise. I just need to feel fair. She was contributing most to the already noisy room, and did you put a stop to her nonsense? NO. I calling someone to get a price for paint while writing something on the board, shouldn't I have some right to quiet her down? But what in the hell of the response she is giving me? A FUCK sign was that rude and insulting/ Would it be front to do it to your seniors? Why don't experiment and show it to your mum while she asks you not to play maple? (she right) and I am not wrong, to this very point. And still, did you put a stop to me and her conversation? NO. You didn't. In fact, you acted as you were translucent. As a friend, would you allow something like this to happen? would you?

Are you saying that is my fault that I have caused a conflict between me and her? Why, should I be the one to apologise? Let me tell you this: I am AWAKE, and still very AWAKE.

Also, did I ask someone to do it my way? I just ask for a simple respect, self-discipline and co-operation. But, NO. I didn't. You said I wasn't a board member, that's a fact but I won't deny it. I didn't put words in your mouth, I quote them. And that was already a very respect part. Don't forget, you said it in a very rude manner. And didn't you think that I was very hurt? For your info, I did help the council board and I did contribute. I put my heart and my soul to get things done right, and it wasn't MY way, I accept various opinions and suggestions from everyone, I need is co-operation not be my slave. But wait, what do I get in return? I get rude, insulting comments and reactions, less to say, a little pat in the back or recognition.

And yes, I do want your respect and everyone else, but in the first place, you didn't. Just a reminder, I do all this with my best ability and I did work very hard. I don't have post recognition; respect is a part of teamwork, co-operation and friendship. Not a respect like a king, just respect, but I seem to have none from you or her. In the right mind, You think I deserve all this?

It is my fault that she shouted rudely? And you think she should apologise? Doesn't mean you're one such person who does apologise, it means you're right. That plain stubborn. You in fact thinks that I’m in the wrong. if I can tell you, I stand of my side.

Student Council's work has been pouring over me lately. working on deadlines and pushing people to work for me is really hard. what temporarily power you say? (quoted from my blog) I don't have people work hard. no initiative, no respect, no co-operation. All works been on me... would I care of what she thinks when she's wrong? Is it nice to shout? I didn't even shout when she was on the phone, I wait for her to finish her conversation on the phone before I confronted her, and mind you, I have respect for other, I myself deserve some respect.

You're the boss, you're scolding me in the right way, because I didn't finish my layout, you have the right to scold me. Just like the right I scolded? Did she recognize it was her mistake, or did you too? Let me tell you this, since I don't have the respect, initiative and co-operation, why should I work? Anyway, I won't benefit from anyone or anything. Why should I work when its soooo difficult? You are right, my friend, you are right. You're most fit for the job. You should do it.

Your friend (if you still consider as),
Terence

I almost broke my key board when i was typing this, reducing to tears eventually. I am darn sad... here's another reply to my letter. (i just recieve this.)

Dear Terence,

I'm glad you read my comments. Thanks for that. Well lets see, you said that she shouted at you. Hmm have u ever wondered? If i was to talk like u in the room, sylvia wouldnt dare scold me. why? is it because im the president? If i was that useless i bet she'd kill me. But she wont, u wanna noe y? Try being friends with the others, show them that you are eager. Life's not all about work. If thats life to u, neither would i mind as long u r happy. But before i continue, let me share smth with u. This was what eoin had said to me unconciously while he left the library: " Lead With Your Heart". And this had made a huge impression on me. Even he doesn't noe it. Well u r the first to noe. To different people, different forms of leading are present. I dunno why, but recently i've become more of a laserflair leader than the previous democratic leader i used to be. Seriously... But to think about it, erm... the part about me saying ur are not part of the board, i'll say it one last time... Here's what i said. if ur ears had heard wrongly or if u think i maliagned u in any way here's my apology: i'm Sorry. but heres what i said.. "u r not a board" (thats all...) yea...

"I don't have people work hard. no initiative, no respect, no co-operation. All works been on me..." heres what i quote from ur email... Erm... is it fair for u to make such a judgement? In my perception i don't realli think its fair. if u do, go ahead. To be honest, its these comments that people like sylvia have problems against u.. I dont have them, maybe because im less sensitive. In any case, just prepare whatever that comes out. I'm trying to do that too, cos im think i have the opening-the-mouth-without-thinking syndrome. Tell me whenever that happens. (=

U r a friend to me. Ur last sentence states im rite... I doubt it, im mostly wrong... even in the face of teachers, but i make it sound as if im right. (one of eoin's tricks) haha.. no hard feelings.. well if u r still unhappy abt me in any way just blurt it out in a less disgracing way ( dun use the word useless... use others lyk _________ i dunno la... jus try) thx.. you are not the one doing all the work.. others do to. i just got informed that im the emcee for ourve III. i would be gald if i could trade places with u.. (=

how bout it? lol

if u are willing tell me, i get abraham to arrange. thx. besides the crap, thx for telling me im still ur friend. u still are! so lets dun get to flustered about the sc thing. 4 years of slogging.. mae be just 3 years... k thx i g2g alrdy cya tmr in skool

your friend always,
Yiwei.. (=

notes this: I am defintely not a people person or a person that is good tempered, I would never ever put personal matters into my 'work' life. Life's like that, friends still get along with each other, but sometimes its hard to let go of certain things, you know what i mean?

Okay, latter post gotta be kinda happy, i will note that.
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