Uncertainty

Next week is going to be a tough one for me- going to a new unit, experiencing a different feel of the way things would work there, or whether it will be the same as the last time where things are so inflexible, some people are just mean and give you an extra without putting their mind into it. Or you'll see more screwed up things there,with people giving you wrong information and cause you or others into huge trouble and that he doesn't realise it. Loads of sighs now and then as the thought of it just cross over my mind and with so many good people not with me around, it just makes things harder to work out. The book WS lent me was a great read as i suffered througout the course, i could connect to it, seeing how it was hard to be left alone bare in this world. I seriously don't know why i was posted there and the reasons given to me are totally illogical and myopic, just like the last 13 weeks. More to come.

The second thing i'm worried about is the surgery that is happening next week, those tonsils and nose block has been making me sick all the time and almost caused a fever that could send me straight to the hospital. These got to stop, so surgery is the only option. which i have not been prepared yet, as i have no time to think about it and concentrated on the course. i wouldn't how bad it will feel and i probably may need to stay in the hospital after surgery depend on the doctor's orders. sigh.... scarey operation + alone hospital stay. on a side note, i have a e-mail to send which cause me more distress as i feel that problems are going to pile on and people starts thinking that its all my fault. How am i gonna block out or let in? Next week is real hard.

(p.s: 2 cards i made for my dear friends who made the course so much better when there are some jerks around. especially thanks to kk for suffering with me and had endless worries that almost had me a heart attack. more cards and work to be done.)

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